Little.....BOY!

Hey there baby!

So your papa is wonderful.

I know I tell you this often, but he really is.

When we set the date to find out if you are a boy or girl

he had a plan on how to make it a surprise for me.

He decided that when we went to the doctor

for your ultrasound we'd have them put the results 

in an envelope.

Papa bought a cutie stuffed elephant

and some ribbon in pink and blue.

He said that he would open it first and give me 

the toy with the appropriate colored ribbon.

I have been anxiously awaiting this moment 

since I first took the pregnancy test.

But a little suspense never killed anyone.

So when we got home papa took a peak and found out.
Then we ate dinner as he made the suspense build.

Then he brought me the package to open,

while he filmed my reaction.

Just knowing you are growing healthy is so exciting to me

but to know that you are a BOY is so joyous to me.
Now we get to really start the planning.

Seeing papa finally got to be the one with the secret
was so exciting.
I'm glad he got those moments since 

I've been the one feeling your kicks and going through it all.

I love you so much baby boy.

Grow Strong.

Little......Oh happy week

Hey there baby,

So despite the sinus infection

which I am blessed to say is almost gone

and your papa having fevers

I am SO excited for this week.

It's only Tuesday but it's fantastic.

I've been rocking at work.

Meaning no procrastination.

Getting stuff done.

Hanging with cutie kids

who don't know why they aren't able to see you.

But TOMORROW...

we get to find out if you are a boy or a girl!

I'm so excited!

Maybe that is why tonight you're moving.

This is the most I've felt you...ever.

Papa is cute and has everything planned for tomorrow.

I don't know if I'll be able to focus at work.

and to top it off

on THURSDAY...

I get to see my BEST FRIEND!

Your honorary aunt Alyssa Patton.

So much happiness.

And even though Holy Week has ended

I feel like the message this year

to remember that Jesus not only rose from the dead

but is continually with us

has been a great reminder to me.

Each day I need to live for and with Jesus.

I've been struggling with that a lot.

It seems like my first choice is always me.

But when I think about the cross

it's much easier to want Jesus to be first.

I want that to continue far past this happy week.

Just like it should.

Well baby....

I can't wait to see you tomorrow!

Grow Strong.

Unsubmitted love story

So I wouldn't submit this story because well husband hates to be photographed,

but I can't help but feel all sentimental  over my own story as I read about the love of others.

The man I call husband is far more than I ever imagined.

The lists I made as a teen of the attributes I wanted in a love don't compare.

When we met I didn't think twice about it.

When he asked for a date

I reluctantly turned him down because I feared losing his friendship

but my heart had not yet been healed from my past.

When he asked the second time

my heart had not yet fallen for him.

But as I grew to know him

my heart fell more than I ever thought it could.

He was a man of his word.

Though broken, like everyone else in the world

he knows his weaknesses and has always been open and honest with me.
When he asked that third and final time I was overjoyed that he still fought for me.
As we began to date I  found in him things I didn't know existed in a man.
When he kept our physical relationship to hand holding,  hugs and cuddling while upright on the couch,
I knew this man would protect my heart.
When we he waited to tell me "I love you" until he asked for my hand in marriage.
When on our wedding day his vows reflected christ's love and he kissed me for the first time.
I knew you were a one and only Daka.
And now as we prepare for our unexpected blessing of a child.
He tells me I am beautiful though my face is spotted with broken capillaries after the fourth time tossing my cookies in a day.
Or how he plans for our future and works oh so diligently.
Its been a mere 4 months since we said "I do" and...
I fall more in love with that man daily.

Little....Rejoice and be Glad!

Hey there baby,

As unpleasant as today was

I have decided to rejoice.

I may have beaten our all time records

in the upchucking department.

I may have dealt with dizziness,

earaches, migraines, a sore throat

but I will rejoice.

Today is Palm Sunday.

You don't know the significance of that yet 

but I can't wait to tell you all about it.

As much as I love Christmas

I think I'm a bigger fan of Easter.

I've never really celebrated Holy Week.

I think we might have to make it a tradition.

But I really want to celebrate it this year.

I probably won't make any purchases

of eggs that tell the story of the crucifixion

or make any crafts.

But I want to try to take this week to dwell on the ultimate 

love story of all time.

This Friday signifies Jesus' death on the cross.

If it weren't for that life would be void.

He selflessly died for your sake and my own.

His holiness covers our sin when we accept him

and allows us access to God the Father.

Not only did Jesus die...

But Sunday we celebrate that he defeated death

(the punishment of sin)

and rose from the grave!

How incredible!

So today, though my stomach is empty

my head is pounding

and I so desperately want to complain about everything.

I will rejoice and be glad that the Lord cares for you and me.

He sent his only son as a sacrifice for us.

I can't imagine you as a sacrifice.

I can't imaging giving you up.

It makes the weight of what the Father did even more powerful to me this year.

Grow Strong Baby

Little....Titles are hard

Hey there baby,

I can't think of a good name for this post

But I'm over it.

On Thursday I heard your heart beating again.

Always magical and also a relief.

Since you haven't been on the move much lately

it's easier to worry about you.

I don't know if I stated this in previous blogs

but I HATE doctors.

We shouldn't hate.

But seriously, I do.

It's not that I have it out for particular ones

or them as a whole

It's just the fear I have that they'll give me bad news.

Or that the poking and prodding will inflict so much pain.

But I've come a long way. 

The first doctor visit with you

I still had an anxiety attack in the waiting room.

Luckily Papa was there with me.

But after seeing you

I suddenly look forward to being there.

Every appointment can't come soon enough.

Unfortunately I have to wait 4 weeks each time.

But not this week.

No, I get to see your cutieness two weeks from my last appointment.

Papa is planning on coming too!

We're going to (hopefully) find out if you are a boy or girl.

Please cooperate. 

Papa won't let me even think of names until we know a gender.

So again, please cooperate.

It's been two weeks since I last tossed my cookies.

Who knew I'd ever be celebrating a gain in weight.

The doctor wasn't concerned that we haven't gained very much.

Which is nice because it's still hard at times

for mum to be 100% on board with all these changes to her body.

So we will rejoice at 3lbs.

And freedom from morning sickness (at the moment).

And praise the Lord that you are growing strong.

Love you baby

Just a needed reminder to myself.

God is good.
It is in his character to be thus. 

Circumstances can not change his nature. 

It is not for me to call him good when I feel blessed or to neglect this trait when I feel looked over. 

Philippians 4:4-7

 "Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS; again I say rejoice.

 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. 

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 

"Rejoice ALWAYS, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for YOU." 

Today I will echo Daniel in his recognition of God's might

As he revealed the dreams of Nebuchadnezzer to him

Daniel 2:20-23

"Daniel answered and said: Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,

to whom belongs wisdom and might.

He changes times and seasons;

he removes kings and sets up kings;

he gives wisdom to the wise

and knowledge to those who have understanding;

he reveals deep and hidden things;

he knows what is in the darkness,

and the light dwells with him. 

To you, O God of my fathers,

I give thanks and praise,

for you have given me wisdom and might,

and have made known to me what we asked of you,

for you have made known to us the king's matter."

How amazing are you God.

You have made all things

When there was no way to reach you because we were dead in our sin

You became the covering for us.

You sent us Jesus to wash us clean.

You seek us out.

Praise be to you oh God.

Psalm 118: 20-24

"This is the gate of the Lord;

the righteous shall enter through it.

I thank you that you have answered me

and have become my SALVATION.

The stone that the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone.

This is the  Lord's doing;

it is marvelous in our eyes.

This is the day that the Lord has made; 

Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Little....trust

Hey there baby,

This weekend has been stressful

Mum has shed many a tear

But today as I sat in church I was reminded that nothing is mine

My health

The money I earn

The job I have

None of it is mine

And the only thing I need or should want is Jesus.

He should be (is) enough.

I forget this in hard times.

I needed to be reminded.

I am thankful for our church

for it's reminder to me today.

Though even though Hoopeston is temporary,

God provided us with a place to hear truth each week.

So rather than wallow in my fear about what will happen

or my anger of wrongs done to me

I will rest in God's peace.

This week will be better.

If only for the reason that I know all I need is Jesus.

I'm excited for our next doctors appointment.

I'll hear your little heart beating this Thursday.

Your papa is excited that it's only two weeks

and we will answer the question: boy or girl?

I hope that when you go through hard times

I'll be a good mommy and point you to Jesus

And even when I don't I hope he tugs your heart to himself. 

Grow Strong Baby