Blessing, Fears, and Futures

The Lord truly blessed Daka and I with one of the longest honeymoons. We had 7days 8 nights in Italy, 1.5 weeks for Christmas and new years, and then 3 extra snow days. Since we said "I do" we had 26 days of togetherness. I don't think we spent more than 2 hours apart. I felt so lucky. I feel so lucky. I am blessed. And now I know why. I think that time together was allowing us to prepare for what is coming next.

January 5th I took my first pregnancy test ever. When the first pink line appeared I had mixed feelings both sad at the thought we might not be pregnant and happy that we'd have a little more time. A few moments later a faint second line on the test appeared. I was pregnant. More fear than anything else invaded my body. We were just married 3 weeks before. How could we have a honeymoon baby? We took precautions. We wanted to wait a year. So we did some research to see if the second line indeed indicated I was pregnant. Sure enough it did. Two days later, still in denial, we bought a digital test. Not even 3 minutes passed and it already read pregnant. This time I had had a few days to get used to the idea and was able to be happy about it.

I have wanted to be a mother my whole life. I mothered my dolls as a child. I mothered my friends during play time as a girl. I wanted, and still do want, to be a mom. But I chose a career when it seemed like that was the next best thing to do. I love my job don't get me wrong but the thought of having to be both a career woman and mother frighten me. Financially we will have to both have jobs until we can dig ourselves out of school debt. That fact saddens me some. I'm not really sure why God timed things this way. But I do trust him. Daka has to remind me to trust him, but I do. God is our provider. He sustains my very life. If he ordained that we would have a child this quickly than how can I feel anything but blessed.

So September baby I am thrilled to meet you. I'm going to be your mum and you have a pretty stellar dad. We love you already and we are thankful for you.

Come what may, Lord we will trust you.