Father's Day

While I am beginning to fall so in love with my one true father God, the creator of the universe, I wanted to write a little bit about the blessing of a Father he gave me here on earth. Bruce Wayne Stelzer is the nerdiest, quirkiest, most intelligent, resourceful, and loving man I know. He is the hardest worker I have ever met and is such a sacrificial giver. Some of my earliest memories of him are the times when he would come home from work, when I was still quite young, after a long day and eat dinner with me. He was almost always late to dinner because he worked oh somewhere around 14 hour days(if not more) and I was an incredibly slow eater. That little bit of time where it was just he an I at the table was so special to me. Even after putting in long hours he'd come home and invest moments of time in my family. Game nights were pretty much how we stayed connected, whether it was us all shouting Farkle around the table falling over in our chairs, teaming up boys against girls in a game of hand and foot, or playing one of the many other games we so loved, he sacrificed the sleep to smile along with us.
My dad is a story teller, a jokester, and sometimes incredibly hard to shut up, and while this may not always be my favorite thing about him it is who he is. His father is one of his great hero's and also mine. Dad always told stories about the things he and grandpa Earl did together, invented together, built together and more. I never knew my grandpa but he sure taught my father how to be a man. Dad is handy and knows oh so much. It seems that whenever mom has her eye on something new dad is prepared to build it(probably more to save money than anything lol). I remember he built a wooden flower trellis for her once, he built a room in our basement, learned how to re-roof a house alongside his brother, the man just never stops working. Fishing was a passion he instilled in me as a child and one hobby I know he wishes he had time for today. He tills, and plants our garden every year so we can have organic veggies(and also save some money haha). But the thing that I have seen in my father lately that overflows my heart with joy is his love. His love for the Lord and the wisdom he instills in me about the need for spiritual growth because he didn't seek after the Lord at my age. For my mother, the little notes they wrote each other on valentines day that were still around the house when I came home in May.  His love for his son, I see his pride whenever my brother Josh accomplishes another amazing thing. And his love for me. Thank you Papa for loving our family, for setting a good example, and for sacrificing for us all. Happy Father's Day

Are we ashamed?

Jesus girl, church girl, Bible thumper and a plethora of other names have been thrown at me. Their goal: to demean me and silence my testimony.

Something I've realized a lot lately is that so many of my "Christian" friends have taken on the role of silencing their own testimonies on the basis of being unoffensive to "non-Christians". While it's all good and dandy that you don't want to be abrasive when you share the gospel, stopping all together is wrong. Jesus himself was not well liked. The truth he spread was not always spoken in a tactful way. Jesus was offensive. Why? Because hearing about your imperfections and faults is never something that makes you feel good about yourself, but it shouldn't stop us from sharing the cure.

Ephesians 6:19&20 Paul writes "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should."

Whenever he opens his mouth! Living a life filled with the spirit should be seen at all times. Our faith in the saving power of Jesus' death and resurrection should be spilling out into our daily lives every time we open our mouths. For me I know this is an area I need to work on. I don't like to step on people's toes, I hate confrontation, and I like being well liked, but I will not go on silencing myself and letting others tell me that I am too much in love with Jesus. Go hard, or go home(Lecrae). I don't mind those names that I get called, because they tell me I'm doing something right. I will not be silenced, especially by other Christians, because I know the cure for the worst disease imaginable....sin. His name is Jesus.

The Lord most high watches out for me. He is Sovereign

Let me tell you, this day has been wonderful. So many things went wrong but the Lord saw me through it all. This morning I awoke crabby and angry at my smoke detector that was beeping at 4:30am. Upset that I had to spend $5 on a single battery my mood didn't really improve. I spent some time reading my Bible this morning at a local coffee shop, as is sort of my thing, and my spirits slowly lifted. I eventually realized how shallow my grumbling had been. The Lord blessed me with  breath to breathe and life to live I should rejoice in it. Later in the afternoon I got on my bike, somewhat nervous to go back to work for the first day in 3 weeks, but headed out in a better mood. Then it happened. All to quickly and in a very surreal way I was hit by a car. No worries I have REALLY MINOR scratches. I felt so bad for the poor guy who hit me who was completely freaking out. My bikes tires were crooked and I couldn't really ride it the rest of the way to work so Andrew(the guy who hit me) ended up dropping me off. We exchanged phone numbers and he told me to call him when I got off and he would take me to get a new bike.

The only injuries I have

The actually event of being hit went somewhat like this. I was approaching a four way intersection and the lights were green. Cars were going and coming my direction but none of them were turning so it seemed safe to cross. I saw Andrews car, in the right lane of the street perpendicular to the one I was on, with his turn signal on but he wasn't moving and on coming traffic was headed our way so he couldn't really move....or so I thought. I started to cross the street. Everything from there kinda slowed down I saw his car moving, felt it touch my left side, then felt myself getting lifted into the air,(it was kind of fun the feeling of flying) and my bike being pulled beneath his car. He stopped and everything was now going by at a regular speed. I got up scathed but unharmed picked up my bike and started to go on my merry way. I assured him I had not obtained injuries that needed medical attention and he insisted I meet him on the other side of the street. I did as instructed once I realized my bike was not going to get me to work. I asked him for a ride since I really needed to get to work it had been three weeks and I needed the money. He gave me his cell phone number while in the car and I texted him my name. Then I tried my best to calm the poor boy down. We chit chatted about school and I told him when I'd be getting off, to pick out a new bike.

My sweet new bike

At work I was giddy, over joyed that the Lord had been so wonderful to protect me. Every time I told the story to a co-worker I couldn't help but laugh. The bike I had been riding was an old $40 find. A a lady my father worked with sold it to me. One brake didn't work, it was rusty, and well I was glad to be getting a new one. I got off work an hour early called Andrew up and he took me to walmart. I think he's still in shock. We pick out my awesome boy bike that I am super thankful for. As we were leaving walmart and I was getting into the truck of  a friend who had come to pick me up Andrew asked me to wait for a moment. He went to his car and when he returned he gave me a gift card to starbucks. A new bike and free coffee, boy does the Lord have a sense of humor. I hope that I get an opportunity to use this experience to show Christ to Andrew. I'm sure we'll keep in touch but more importantly I'm thankful for a God who knows my every need. I needed a new bike. I needed a better attitude today. I needed another way to show my co-workers how Christ works in me. I hold no malice toward Andrew. I hope to be his friend. I am so thankful for a God who protects.

Thankful

One human. One sin. That was all it took for worlds of people to be condemned to a death in hell. Doomed to a separation from a heavenly father, the creator, for an eternity. One man. Wholly God but fully man. Perfect, blameless, righteous sacrifice of blood. He who took upon himself the sins of the world. An incomprehensible love for such lowly beings. His name is Jesus. Risen. Conqueror of death, took our punishment and offers an everlasting life. A gift. Free. Unearned, undeserved, unacknowledged, spoken of too little. The only cure for a dying world. John 3:16"For God so loved the world that he gave his ONE and ONLY son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

My Best Friend

So I figured I'd finally write this blog because well everyone always asks how Alyssa and I met so you might as well have the whole story. Yeah we're as close as sisters, we're best friends and we tell each other everything...good and bad. However, there is something that comes as a big surprise to many...we've only known each other for 3 years. How can we be this close without years of background friendship? It is because God put us into each others lives strategically for our growth.

Three years ago my parents announced that we might be having a girl come live with us for a year or two. I was beginning my last year at DACC, the community college in my hometown, and getting ready for new adventures at a four year university. I have always been doted upon by my family, at times I enjoyed it other times not so much, but when my mother told me this news I laughed and thought to myself "She's getting a replacement daughter so when I'm gone they won't feel like empty nesters". Their plan was somewhat flawed seeing as I still had one year to finish at DACC but oh well.

You'd think that the girl coming to live with us would be an exchange student going to the university right? Well you'd be wrong. She lived in Illinois only about three hours away from us. When deciding on a college to attend Alyssa weighed her options. A track scholarship pointed her towards DACC as a viable option, but Danville is not really an ideal place to live. Having only slightly considered the possibility of coming to my community college it was brought up in her church back home that she could attend this school for two years for free. After being prayed over she was approached by some family friends who had lived in Danville for a number of years. Calls were made about possible apartments and other living options.

Friends of my family brought up the fact that Alyssa may be attending DACC and was looking for housing in my parents Sunday school class. And for whatever reason, though I know now that it was undeniably God laying it on my mothers heart, my parents thought about opening our home to her. My brother moved out the year prior so we had plenty of room, and like I said in a year they'd be empty nesters anyway.

So the Krauss' made a plan to come visit and check out the place. Believe me Danville is no sight to see when you get here. It's a run down town that was once very successful but now has become one of the worst places to live in America(<- yeah that was on the news...and it did wonders for improving our town). At the time I worked two jobs and went to school and when the Krauss' were planning on visiting first I was supposed to be at work. Luckily they came early enough that I could say hello before heading to the restaurant. She seemed really shy but didn't look like a crazy person so I was fine, we could live together well enough and besides I only had to be there for one year.

Little did I know the thoughts that had been running through her head. All Alyssa knew about me was that I had been home schooled for most of my life, grew up in a fairly strict Baptist Church, and that I "didn't have a facebook". A list of things that would have seemingly put me in a category of being socially inept. While most of those things were true, I was home schooled from 3rd grade on yet still an incredibly out going person with many friends, I did grow up in a Baptist church, but this grew my faith very strongly and the legalistic tendencies they may have had at times were no bigger than those of any other church, and well I did have a facebook but for reasons I won't go into did not have my last name on it for many years, I was still your normal 19 year old.

Thank heavens I stuck around instead of leaving for work incredibly early as I typically do because once she realized I was "normal" she decided that it wouldn't be impossible to live with me. I'd like to say we became immediate friends but that didn't exactly happen. She took a while to adjust and I took a while to realize I needed to reach out to her, but once we did those things we just clicked. 3yrs later and we have lived together, fought with each other, cried over insignificant and also very significant things, had adventures, lived out the dull days, made each other laugh, been called crazy(because we are), gone through trials, grown in our love for each other as friends, grown in our love for our Savior, mentored one another and we are best friends now and forever. God knew we'd need each other, I'm certainly glad he knows what he's doing.

Proverbs 27:17"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Living in Danville still

friendly mimicking

Weddings

Graduations

Sun bathing 90ft in the air

rock climbing

Thats my best friend

Journalings

College. It's been one of the best experiences of my life. Not because of the atmosphere or the classes or anything other than the fact that I realized here what it means to truly walk with the Lord. I'm going to fail so often but knowledge is the beginning. I have people here that pour truth into my life daily and while those truths can hurt, because they show my utter sinfulness, it's also beautiful to see just how amazing God's grace is.

I try to journal daily as I read the Bible and today I was reading one of Paul's letters, this time to the Corinthian church. I love the way Paul writes because you can see just how big his view of our Savior is. These were the thoughts that came to my head and spilled into my journal as I read 1Cor. 1:22-31

Knowing God alone should be a sufficient message to solidify our faith. If knowing Christ isn't enough......then you don't really know him. We are not more wise than our creator, yet we rest in our own understanding. The Jews asked for signs, the Greeks for wisdom, and the Gentiles where confused when all they received was the message of Jesus' death and resurrection. They thought they were above this truth and that logically there had to be more.
My Bible then prompted me to read Jeremiah 9:23-24 "Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich many glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the Lord which exercises loving-kindness, judgement, and righteousness in the earth; for in these things I delight, saith the Lord."

The greatest thing I can boast about is our Lord. The one who blesses us with wisdom and wealth. Rather than looking at and praising the giver of gifts, I look at the gift and give myself glory as if I had anything to do with it. When I achieve in school rather than praising the Lord for allowing me to do well and for giving me the capacity to learn and breath and life I look at myself and my accomplishments and call them MINE. It should be for his glory. The best thing we can boast in is Jesus.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection.


-Keeley Janae

Expectation

Expectation is the root of all heartache.-William Shakespeare


I ran across this quote recently and it's funny because it describes my life at this moment perfectly. A big lesson I'm being taught right now is that my plan for my life is not the same as God's plan always. A lot of the disappointment I've felt in the past few months is because of my goals for my life. I used to be so focused(and many times I still am) on the future I laid out for myself. It went a lot like this: Get into a good grad school, get a good job, marry a great guy, be happy. Guess what? <- that doesn't equate with happiness. Go figure. My happiness shouldn't be balanced on circumstances but my joy should come from my relationship with Christ. A relationship I haven't been doing a good job of building.This year I have grown so much. Most of my growth has come out of the dark and unhappy times when God tells me he should be my all. I get so down on myself for my shortcomings. I have a heart full of anger and hurt and I get depressed when I let those feelings over take me. Its so much easier to just hide behind the façade of the happy go lucky Christian girl.
Lots of people aren't honest about what life is really like when you accept Christ. It is not some quick fix. Trials come and go just like they do in everyone's life but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.Phil 4:13. Sometimes I have to repeat this to myself over an over. Especially in situations where I have to repent of my sin and ask for forgiveness. There have been so many days recently where I get overwhelmed to the point of tears and I pull away from the people who love me, luckily my Saviour is ever with me. He never leaves nor forsakes me. I am a Child of God, flawed but forgiven.