An ordinarily blessed day

I don't know what this post will bring, but I'm feeling inspired to write. Perhaps the inspiration comes from the loneliness of this apartment, or my lack of ability to entertain myself, no matter the reason I will type. Today I kept feeling so blessed to have such a bright future ahead of me. I kept thanking God for blessing me with an amazing Fiance. Then it hit me. I thank God for the things he gives me. Objects, people, happy moments in life, but I rarely thank him for his sacrifice. I rarely reflect on the gospel. Today isn't an extraordinary day. I read at the park for a bit, packed a box of clothing, facebook stalked, you know the norm. I forget to remind myself of the gospel. I live a happy life. I complain about my life too much, because really I am blessed beyond measure.As I prepare myself to become a wife in less than 5 months, I get nervous at how selfish and ungrateful I can be. But as I had my quiet time this afternoon I was reminded that I'm "perfectly imperfect". I'll never measure up. I'll never be holy enough, deserving enough of the gospel. My weakness is how Christ's light can shine. I'm lucky to know the savior personally. He is my portion. If everything was taken away from me (though I'd likely go through a devastated period) I would still have to give thanks. So today is my ordinarily blessed day. I am blessed daily. There is nothing extraordinary about it except the fact that I know the one true God and he cares enough to bless me daily.

Wedding planning is stressful and expensive and EXCITING!

No one told me wedding planning could be so stressful or that budgeting would feel impossible. But I have learned through this process just how blessed I am to have Daka in my life. I'm such a type A personality and everything stresses me out. Even when things are going well I have this unmerited fear that things will not go my way. Fortunately things rarely go my way and God humbles me. I don't always thank him in those moments but I am thankful for them. Today is a day where the stress is gone and I'm just enjoying it all. Due to the limited budget I am making a LOT of stuff myself. And while that may sound like a chore to some, I absolutely love it. I love knowing how much time and effort I put into the details. I am especially fond of the sweet ideas Daka has for the wedding. He is also so supportive when I feel the weight of the financial expense. Honestly I'm super excited to have a special day to look back on and remember through our years together, but kinda wish I could skip the whole planning thing. Things are not really going my way as far as budgeting. I feel as though I'm cutting so many corners and then another expense crops up to deplete the funds I thought I was saving. Food is the huge issue right now. I have no idea how we will feed our guests. It's no small feat to get a caterer willing to work with the budget I set apart for that. I'd love to put some of my love into cooking a meal but that is definitely impossible because well I'll be a little busy. Oh well. I feel so blessed. All I know about this process is that it has given me a greater love for the man that will soon be my husband. I can not imagine a life without him by my side. Hurry up December because I'm ready for the I do's already!

We FINALLY set a date

Daka and I finally set a date for our wedding! God has blessed me with a job and that means we get to move forward in our wedding plans. There is so much excitement and yet definitely some stress. It's not as though I've planned a wedding before, or ever will again and my budget can fit into my pocket so it's going to be challenging. Along those lines there is the even smaller honeymoon budget and the BIG dream of going to Italy ever since I can remember. I even started saving for my honeymoon when I got my first job at 18. Unfortunately those funds have already been spent on the wedding. In addition to the financial situation I am looking to set up our future home and begin working. These are intimidating times but I also can't feel more blessed. I will soon be able to marry my best friend and we will start our lives together as a unit. I can not wait! We plan to marry THIS December, which means I had better get my tush to working to pull it all together. I start the new job August 7th so I have a little bit of time for planning until I begin. I think the Lord is using this packed time to make me into a more organized person. Here is to 164 days till the wedding! If the Lord allows Daka to student teach in Hoopeston then that's all the longer we will have to wait. If not, then we will unfortunately have to move the date back to May. Here's hoping for a short engagement!