wholly dependent

As I am nearing midterms and stressing about my life (as is the case with most graduate students) I have been continually reminded that God is in control. As much as I like to plan and know my future, it is, in large part, out of my hands. God has a written will for our lives things that he specifically says "This is the will of God for you" (eg.1Thessalonians 4:3 check it out) but I also believe that he allows us to make decisions and mistakes on our own. He uses them to grow us as well as show us that He is still sovereign over all.

 As I was studying 2nd Samuel with my discipler a few weeks back we began discussing David's attitude toward God. David loved the Lord no doubt about it, and God was pretty fond of him too. However, there are instances in which David completely idolized himself (in a seemingly selfless way). How so you may ask? 2Sam 7 is a good example. David is contemplating building a house for the ark of God not a bad thing to do (in theory). He even seeks out counsel about this decision. God rather bluntly puts him in his place by telling David...I'm putting this in the words of my discipler here "I am God, you are David". Vs. 4-11 is his response. Plainly God doesn't need David to do anything for him because he has it covered. If he needed a house it would have been built. In fact he reminds David that he was the one who built his house!

Today as I read Psalm 127 I was again reminded of this. vs. 1&2 says "Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."
This semester I have lost a lot of sleep and given in to worries more times that I can count. I don't rest on his promises as I should. Psalm 121:3b-8 also reminds me that I am so cared for. It says that the one who keeps me will not slumber. I am in his hands.

Graduation will be here sooner that I know it, and my move to St. Louis for internships will come even more quickly. I am fully in the Lords hands. It's when I take things on myself that I fail. I wish I could say that I fully understand this lesson but I have a feeling I will continue to be taught it, among other things. But just knowing that the Creator of Heaven and Earth cares for me so, is the strength I need. I am wholly dependent on him.