29 things I'm thankful for

One of my dearest friends always writes a list of

Things she's thankful for on her birthday,

And I adopted the tradition a year ago as well.

I'm a little late in writing this but here goes

I just turned 29 on Friday so I'll give 29 things I'm thankful for 

After having lived for 29 years.

1) Jesus's death on the cross, because without that nothing else on this list matters

2) forgiveness, this year especially as I have been humbled recently by my own sin

3) deepening friendships

4) grace that is undeserved and seemingly never ending

5) a new gift of life

6) the strengthing of old relationships

7) family

8) the love of my son

9) a stable income

10) a home

11) our church

12) caffeine

13) trustworthy care takers

14) unexpected gifts

15) running vehicles

16) precious sleep

17) small group

18) the ability to meet the needs of others

19) our needs having been met

20) never lacking food

21) down time

22) Daka

23) lessened anxiety

24) answered prayers

25) observing The Holy Spirit move in others

26) provision

27) a deeper understanding of hurt in the world

28) the e desire for change 

29) empathy

I am so thankful for another year of life that I have undeservedly been given,

Ready to listen

I know the Lord called us here.

St. Louis is my home.

This is my city.

And it is breaking.

As a white middle class woman

I can easily avoid the conflict

And ignore the racism and the social divide

But I don't want to do that.

That's not why we are here.

After yet another blatant disregard 

to the lives of those of color in this city

I can't just sit and watch, read, hear, etc.

The opinions of those like me.

Is it not obvious that something is wrong?

Is it not obvious that the fear and the anger

Is coming from a place of legitimacy?

Please, if you were like me, stop ignoring what is happening.

Notice that the people of color in our city are hurt.

Let us listen to them.

Black Lives Matter

But the message that we as white people are sending is that they don't.

Whether we mean to or not,

Good intentions aside.

Our disregard

Our judgement

Our unwillingness to listen

To fight for the marginalized

Says that we believe something else.

Black Lives Matter

But until our actions and our words

CHANGE

They won't.

Black Lives Matter.

Stop analyzing the response

Listen to the message

Black Lives Matter

I can't even begin to imagine that I know

The suffering of the people in this city

But I'm ready to listen 

Are you?

Chronicles of a potty training momma: DONE....we hope

As I have said before don't look to me for advice on potty training,

but I am happy to report that we are nearing the end of training.

M has started wearing underwear outside the home.
Today, I put him down for a nap in his underwear!
Guys, thats a big deal!
Having confidence in his ablity to hold it during sleep
is something entirely different than just toilet training.

He is consistenly telling me when he needs to go,
and FINALLY telling sitters and kids church teachers.

We still have the occasional accident, but overall he's a pro.

Considering where we were in the beginning....going every 5 minutes

this is incredible improvement.
Plus our accidents are really just aiming issues.
One thing at a time okay!?!

To be honest, potty training has been a pretty selfish endeavor. 

I just really wanted him to be done so he would be: 

1) more independent

2) we'd have less mess

3) and I wouldn't have to buy diapers

However, it has given him such pride in his big boy abilities.
I never knew I could be so excited over such a disgusting event in life.
Pardon me while I throw a little dance party with myelf
because we are DONE!

Okay, so we still aren't dry at night, but this is still worth celebrating!

Chronicles of a potty training momma: What I have found successful

So since Thursday we have been hitting potty training pretty hard.

I have found a few things that have workes for us...

So I thought I would share.

1. Frequent trips.
At first he was on the potty every 5 minutes.
It was a lot of work, but when he would actually go, I'd space the timer out. It went something like 5,10, 15,25,30,35.
He was in disposable diapers before and he would pee whenever he darn well felt like it, so I think this helped with increasing his bladder control.
2. Rewards.
We use a single gummy snack for each success, and only if he remembers to ask for it after.
He has forgotten a few times, but it is definitely motivating.
I know, it's sugar. But food is an easy access, quick reward, that kids just seem to understand.
3. Encouragement even in failure.
I down play the accidents. "Bud, it's okay, we will just try again soon. Remember to try to tell mommy, because poop and pee go in the potty"
4. Naked to only underwear to fully clothed.
We started with nothing on the bottom so we could get on the potty asap when he needed to go.
Then once he started spacing out trips and telling me he needed to go the underwear went on. Finally, we did pants when we hit the 30 minutes between trips.

So far it's going better than expected for a newly 2 year old. 

Chronicles of a potty training momma: The NEW plan/an update

So M is now 2.

He is not potty trained.

So as you can probably tell I took a break.

I did say I might at the beginning. So there is that.

As interested as he was at 18 months, he just wan't ready.

He had pretty great communication skills

but couldn't preemptively tell me when he needed to go.

He still really doesn't.

But it's getting better.

The other day at the library he told me "Mommy, I pooping"

He also then refused when prompted to go with me to the restroom.

So, we're taking it slow.

Just asking him to sit on the potty multiple times a day.

And he has been doing that with success. 

Today we tried underwear.

We only had one accident

I'd say that's a success.......unless you know that after acident 1

I went back to diapers 

at first because he went down for a nap,

but then also because I'm lazy.

BUT he literally went on the potty 7x today.

So that's the real success.

Not much about my plan has changed, other than giving more grace

and also I caved and bought a potty.

Yuck.

It was a necessary evil though.

He used to scream and run from being hoisted onto the 

insert "potty seat" that fits on the toilet.

So now he has his own potty. 

He uses it regularly

and gets a gummy if he goes.

And I'm leaving it there for now

If he starts asking to go more....

then we will probably go full force into underwear.

We will see. 

Like I said in my first post, I am no expert

So don't look to me for advice.

I'm just a mom who is sick of diapers

and a kid who screams when I try to change them haha.

Things would probably happen more quickly if I wasn't so lazy

So there is also that.

I have things to work on. 

Don't we all.

Chronicles of a potty training momma: Praise for the Poop!

So potty training has been moving at a crawl.

Every once in a while M will ask to go to the "toilet"

But mostly he just likes the opportunity to wash his hands. 

Last Tuesday, he told me "poop" but with an empty diaper.

This was the first time he has preemptively mentioned something 

related to the potty.

So I rushed him to the nearest bathroom, but because we were

out of the house sitting on the big toilet was mostly

traumatic for him. Especially when it's a self flushing toilet.

Then last night happened.

I came home and Daka told me M had news.

Apparently he had told D "poop" again with an empty dipe.

So he put him on the toilet and viola!

We're still a ways from consistent potty training but I am ecstatic.

It's a really strange thing to be so excited over 

another being's bowel movements.

But as I discussed this conundrum with my brother

he helped me understand my excitement comes from freedom.

It may still be a while,,,but we are one step close to diaper freedom.

And that my friends, is worth celebrating.

Chronicles of a potty training momma: terrible timing

So, today I discovered that I have terrible timing. To help with consistency,I set a timer to remind myself to do a potty check every hour or so. I ended up changing that to 30 mins on the second go round, then gave up on the reminders all together.

M started in the big boy underpants and fortunately for us we had warmer weather so no pants were necessary. We talked about the potty a lot today. And we had our first accident in the bathroom, on the step stool to get up to the potty. An accident yes, but hey, we were at least close there!

Then came mystery accident two. The reminder timer had not yet gone off, but gavr me a ten minute warning that our next potty break was coming up. So I decided to grab him early and let him reset the timer on the way to the toilet. Upon lifting him up to press the button timer, I felt that it was too late.

So I adjusted the time. And gave up on the underwear for the moment. No mystery pee stains for me.

Later M turns to me and says "poop". I ask him if he needs to poop in the potty, and we sing "we're gonna poop in the potty" on our trek upstairs. He really seems to ejoy my potty song. When we make it to the toilet I find that he was only informing me of what had happened. He sits on the toilet seat anyway, just to familiarize himself and we dump the diaper in the potty and he flushes saying "bye bye poopy"

After cleaning up this third attempt my lazy mommy mode kicks in and we permanently switch to diapers for the rest of the day.  After donning the dipe M suddenly becomes very upset that his poo had been flushed and runs to the toilet only to cry "poopy gone!" So apparently that tactic is more traumatizing than helpful.

This toilet training is the nastiest rite of passage I have ever known.