Becoming Mommy

Hey bug,

It has been a little over a year now that we've been on this mother son journey and I'm willing to admit I'm mostly in over my head when it comes to you. It's a hard journey learning to care for someone so deeply and love so unconditionally.  Today I had to continually fight the urge to make you into the boy I wanted, rather than let you discover who you are. As you popped yet another fist full of dirt in your mouth, I thought of the inconvenience it would be to clean you up, I realized I was trying to change you. I'm told to train you in the way you should go, but that doesn't mean not allowing you to be a rambunctious, inquisitive, independent boy. When you throw tantrums and I lose my patience with you, know that I'm still learning too. Papa and I have a lot to learn. Know that our boundaries, while they may be flawed at times, are set out of love and desire for your good. Know that we want to help you figure out this world, just as much as you desire to understand it. Becoming your mommy is a lifetime process, and I'll always be on the learning curve. Thanks for the moments after the time outs, when you give me cuddles and kisses. Thanks for the laughter you give me when we play at the park. Thank you for teaching me that life can be dirty, and difficult, but still be good. Thanks for reminding me of grace in your own little way. I promise to try to do the same. Thanks most of all, for helping become mommy.