a never ending cycle

God is so sovereign and his plan is perfect but I have been really struggling lately with trusting him in every aspect of my life. I keep going through what feels like a never ending battle of the ups and downs of my life. When I get to a point of spiritual growth Satan begins to attack and while I know he's lying to me, he's a really convincing liar. My struggles have this interwoven pattern that makes it really difficult to fight, because when I fail in one area it just knocks me down in another. Firstly is my need to be loved. God is the ultimate lover. I am his bride, but that doesn't mean I always remember that or cease from looking for love and affection from other people. When I seek out others attention I usually get it but then I start to have doubts about my worth when I don't receive affirmation. This is when the domino of body image begins to fall. I get really hard on the way I look I either go one way and completely binge or get really restrictive. Then domino number three falls and I get back to the depressed place I was in last summer where I start to pull away from people and just sleep all the time. I felt like this little pattern was breaking this summer because God was just pouring so much love on me but the moment I took my eyes off him for a second its like the battle began again right from the beginning. I know that I am his daughter, his bride, his love and that he will fight for me and with me, I know all those things in my head but my heart doesn't seem to feel the same today. Today I'm not up for fighting the battle. Keep me in your prayers as I preach the gospel to myself. If you feel this way know that you're not alone. I have a mighty warrior on my side but the battle is trying.