Berlin(pt2 how he ripped my list to pieces)

Like I said I gave God a list of things he had to do to get me to Germany. I don't know if I trusted that he was big enough to accomplish it, but boy and I glad I was wrong.

It started over winter break when for some odd reason a family felt led by God to give me $1,000. I took it in shock wondering what in the world he had in store for this. I hadn't been praying about my financial situation, yes money was tight but he was providing. I thought well maybe he's just blessing me with this so my rent will be paid and I won't have to worry.

When Berlin was brought up to me and I was told that the trip would cost a total of $1600 I thought hmm well maybe thats why...but this was my gift and I want to use it however I please. Luckily God smacked that notion out of my head fairly quickly. Raising $600 wasn't going to be a big burden so I started to cross off finances from my list.

Next I made the call to my parents. I don't know why I thought there might be opposition but they were so excited for me. It couldn't have been easier.

Then came my passport: I needed to start the process quickly if I was going to get it in time. I would have done is sooner but I had to wait for my birth certificate in the mail. When it came I filled out all the appropriate paper work and took it to the post office to have it sent away. Being born in the 80's in South Carolina apparently they did the whole birth certificate thing differently. My certificate is just slightly bigger than a credit card and when I showed it to the man at the passport desk he took a good 3mins flipping it, rubbing his hand over it, giving me puzzling looks. Eventually he gave me a few options. "I've never seen a birth certificate like this and I don't know if the passport offices will accept it, you may need a long form so here is what you can do" 1)send it now and order the long form then start the process over and expedite if they reject it(this options costs about $300). 2)Wait for the long form and try again.(cost $200)  Or 3) send it now and hope they accept it($130).

Needless to say I chose option 3 praying that if God wanted me to go he'd either give me the funds for a second try or let it run it's course. 1.5 weeks later I called the offices to check on the status of my passport and they said that nothing had come up about my birth certificate and that it looked as though things were going alright. They asked me the date of my trip and told me that it was projected to arrive 2 days before I left, but I could spend $70 and get it there faster. I gave them the "I'll call back in a week to check on it and expedite then if necessary" answer. A week later my passport arrived before I made the phone call.

Well my finances were still lacking in $600 and I was preparing to write my letters of support to send to friends to raise the rest but for some reason I felt the need to call and thank the family who felt led to give me the $1000. I knew that they would love to hear how God was using them. I told them about my trip and thanked them for what they had done for me, hung up the phone. At that point I had a peace about getting the rest of the money for my trip. 5 mins later I get another phone call from the same family telling me that they had felt led to pray about my trip and thought God was calling them to send the rest of the money to me. I wrote one letter of support to that family and I had everything provided for me. I can't even begin to thank them for how they allowed God to use them in my life.

Then on to my boss: I had asked for the 9 days off for Panama, Florida and went in to talk to him about how likely it was that I was going to get those days off. He said he wasn't able to guarantee anything because so many students were leaving but that he'd try. I explained that I was no longer going to Florida but rather to Germany. He turned and looked at me and said "Keeley, that is a once in a life time thing. Go. I will make sure you get the days off you need. Go, and then come back and tell me about it." I can't wait to use my experience there as a witness to him.

Lastly was my spiritual growth. While I have been continually sanctified this semester I have a tendency to focus on my failures rather than my growth. I wanted to be well equipped to share my faith but not just that to also be fully focused on Christ. I have had multiple opportunities on campus to share the gospel and it has been a wonderful experience to take them. But I know the people in Berlin will be less receptive. I feel more adequate in this area now even though it still scares me. I also wanted my heart to be in the right place. Some days I wanted to go to Berlin just to get away from the US from the drama in my life and from the complacency I feel here. Other times it's all about wanting others to have a relationship with the God of the universe. I have been in the word more this semester than probably in my whole Christian walk but even then sometimes I did it out of obligation rather than desire for growth. Lately I've been reading Paul's letters to different churches. I started in Colossians last semester then switched to Philippians and recently ended in Philemon. And then God gave me this in sight. Philemon 1:6 "I pray that you be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have full understanding of every good thing that we have in Christ." 1) I am to share my faith and 2) every good thing(all those times when my motives are right about going to Berlin) is because I have Christ in me. I don't have to dwell on the times when my heart is not right because if I direct my focus to Christ the Holy spirit will enable me.

I can't wait to write the rest of this blog. 6 more days. Be in prayer for big things to happen in Germany. It's the Atheist capital of Europe and there will be a lot of opposition there but my God is bigger than all that.

Berlin (pt 1)

Germany. Not really my ideal vacation spot, in fact I never really give thought to the place but it was pushed into my lap as an opportunity to be obedient. So here is the story:

Campus Crusade for Christ gives students ministry opportunities over spring break. ISU's CRU had two options, Panama City Beach or Berlin, Germany. Sitting in CRU there were little cards passed around about spring break and I remember looking at the options and thinking to myself "Wow Berlin would be a great opportunity for growth. But I already decided to go to PCB and well I don't have the money, passport or time off work." So I let my first opportunity to say yes to Berlin pass me by. Then Christmas break happened and I didn't really think about it at all I was focused on other things but once I returned God kept bringing up Berlin. In CRU meetings, hearing others talk about their experience there during previous spring breaks and I felt my heart being tugged little by little.

Over break we were asked to read the book The Fuel and the Flame. It was a book about being active in our walks with Christ, pursuing him and pursuing ministry. I'm going to quote the passage that made me rethink world ministry: "There are about 600 million active Christians in the world today. Approximately 150 million of them are between 22-55 years of age(thats me right there). The estimate is that we need only about 20,000 to 30,000 of them to be cross cultural missionaries to finish reaching every unreached people group. that means we need only 1 volunteer from ever 5,000 people in this age group" This hit me like a brick wall.

Years ago I was sitting in chapel at a church camp(I was maybe 10 at the time) and there was a missionary from Bangladesh who asked us to be in prayer about being called overseas, even short term. I remember defiantly praying to God "Don't ever call me Lord, I can't and won't go. I can be a missionary right here." And while it is true that our mission to share the gospel is applicable no matter where we are I think God is showing me that he loves more than just American's and that his plan is better, by asking me to go.

After returning from winter break I was approached by the intern of CRU, Lindsey, and she asked me what I thought about Berlin. To myself I thought well it's be cool but it'll never happen for me, but I decided to pray over it and couldn't get it off my mind for days after that interaction. So I gave God my list of things he had to accomplish if he wanted me there.

The list:
1) Soften my parents hearts so that they are completely on board with my trip
2) Provide the financial support I'll need
3) Bring me a passport in time
4) Give me the time off of work
5) Grow my faith

He did it all but that story will come in a bit...

A work in progress....more like just some random thoughts.

God only knows why we didn’t work out

God only knows why I had those doubts

But he’s here to stay, he remains the same

But as for me and my heart, it’s forever changed.

My actions now reflect my love for the Lord

As I seek him out daily by reading his word

He is all sufficient, his grace meets my needs

He shows me his mercy when I’m on my knees.

Through prayer and reflection I learn more each day

And little by little he shows me the way

So thanks for the lessons you taught me those years

For showing compassion, and drying my tears

But my God is sovereign, he has his own plan

And I choose to follow the one true “I AM”

Despite the uncertainties and questions I have

I will not abandon my heavenly dad.

For he sent his son to pay for my sins

So in this short life, may my words praise him.